If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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