we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
