Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
