She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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