I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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