Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
