Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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