I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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