Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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