He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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