He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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