I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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