If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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