you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
