ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
