Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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