went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
