I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
