listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She announced her abortion via fbk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
