Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
