He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
