So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How external is "for external use only"?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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