Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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