she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
