what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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