Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When are your genitals available?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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