soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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