I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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