I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
