Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
