I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
