Apparently you make a good broom.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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