i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
