Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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