It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
