Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
