Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
