i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
