You're a womanizer and a bitch.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
