If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
