I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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