I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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