i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
