That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
