Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize