Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
