I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
