I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
