GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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