I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
