just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
