last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he thought i was a dude.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
